Uh-oh.
No!
Ha, ha!
Just a reminder, students...
...only five minutes left before the school assembly starts.
Of course, this is a mandatory school assembly...
...which means a week's detention for anyone...
...who is so much as a split-second late!
Thank you, students.
Name me one single thing more boring than Monday morning assemblies.
My Uncle Lou's new wife...
...the one who gave up being a school librarian...
...to write a book about being a school librarian.
So any guesses what today's assembly will be about?
-Hallway safety, part 2? -The importance of flossing?
-The joys of stamp collecting? -Stamp collecting? Really?
Now, that is righteous.
You disagree?
Students of Greendale Middle School.
Huh?
It's that time of year again.
Time to select this year's student of the year!
The student whose picture will be added to our own...
...beloved Greendale Middle School wall of achievement.
It can't be.
Yes! Every year, one student has his or her picture added to this wall...
...and that lucky student is selected on the basis of academic performance...
...athletic achievement, citizenship and popularity...
...to become student of the year!
No!
Uh-oh. Uh, I was just, uh...
...contemplating the possible consequences...
...of not observing proper hallway safety procedures...
...during a fire drill. Really horrifying, you know?
Harvey, mi amigo, I'm telling you, there's something...
...about Sabby.
Miss Spellman, it's nice to know that last week's assembly topic...
...has had such an effect on you, but today our focus is on the student of the year!
Now, as I was about to say, the voting will take place on Thursday...
...and after all the votes are tallied, the name of the student of the year...
...will be announced in a special assembly on Friday.
The assembly will be covered on local television...
...as will the placing of the honored student's picture...
...on the wall of achievement. Who will it be?
Hey, what's up with all the stressing over this wall, Sabrina?
Yeah. It's like you're looking at some kind of nightmare or something.
In a way, I kind of am.
Amazing! She looks just like you.
She's my great-grandmother.
Greendale's first-ever student of the year. And that's my grandmother...
...and here's my mom. They were all named Sabrina...
...and they were all student of the year.
It's kind of a tradition for the women on the mort--
-Uh, on my mom's side of the family. -That is so cool.
No, it isn't. Think about it, Chloe.
Now everybody is going to expect me to be student of the year.
But what if I'm not? What if I don't make it?
Uncle Quigley, Aunt Hilda, Aunt Zelda, Salem...
...I'm painfully aware that you are wearing bags on your heads.
Dare I ask why?
You let your family down, Sabrina.
We're so ashamed....
That we can't even show our faces in public.
It would be a lot easier on all of us...
...if you just hit the road, move to Guam, maybe...
...change your name.
I understand. I'll go.
And I'll change my name to Gertrude and take up coal mining.
You'll never hear from me again.
Well, that went rather well.
So can I have Sabrina's room?
What am I going to do? I can't disappoint my whole family.
I've got to be student of the year.
I don't know what you're freaking out about, Sabrina. You're a great student.
-Yeah, but-- -Yeah, and a fantastic athlete.
Well, maybe not fantastic, but pretty good.
I mean, you don't fall down as much you used to.
What Mr. Smooth is trying to say is that we'll vote for you.
Yeah. Everybody will.
Well, maybe not everybody. I mean, Gem probably won't...
...but that's only one person.
Well, maybe 2 people if you count Slugloaf, but--
Allow me to translate.
Sabrina, you're cute, you're nice, you're smart, you're in!
- I am? - To Sabrina Spellman...
...the next student of the year!
Hold it right there.
Harvey, I have been looking all over for you.
I'm having a major party Friday night to celebrate...
...becoming the next student of the year. I'd really love for you to be there.
Whoa. Time to cash a reality check, Gem.
What makes you so sure you're going to be student of the year?
Well, let's have a look, shall we?
Student of the year is chosen on the basis of academic performance...
...athletic achievement, citizenship and popularity.
Oh, good, professor. You finished my extra-credit assignment.
A little custom-made bounce in the sneakers.
That will take care of athletic achievement.
Oh, goody! The blueprints for the new multi-million-dollar library...
...my daddy is donating to the school in my name.
That's a slam dunk for citizenship. Don't spend it all in one place, boys.
Hello? I'd like to order a total beauty makeover for tomorrow...
...and on-site maintenance for the remainder of the week.
Thank you. Now, what was that you were asking me?
Some clueless question about how I could be so sure I'm going to win?
See you at my victory party Friday night, Harvey.
Oh, you can come to if you want, Chloe...
...but I'm assuming that you'll be too busy comforting Sabrina.
Ta, all.
A college professor doing her homework? A complete makeover?
Donating an entire library? How can I compete with that?
You've got to.
I don't want to have to go to her stupid victory party.
Yeah! And check this.
If Gem wins, she'll be pushing all of us around...
...until we're in college.
You know she's gonna treat everybody like servants.
See what you've done to your friends, Sabrina?
Harvey, another grape.
We're miserable, and it's all your fault.
-Don't let us down, okay? -Promise?
No pressure here, Spellman.
Now all you have to worry about is not disappointing your family and your friends.
Here you go.
My famous liver-and-bean omelets and toast and strawberry jam.
Good, healthy, nutritious food for growing teenage bodies.
Couldn't we just order some pizza?
There's a great Mexican place on the corner.
-Maybe they do breakfast. -Uh, thanks, uh, Uncle Quigley.
Shes eating a liver-and-bean omelet.
All done, Quigley. Thanks.
Uh, is there anything wrong, Sabrina?
Oh, Aunt Zelda, this week they're choosing student of the year and--
Student of the year?
Oh, I remember when your mother won that award.
How proud she was.
And how proud our mother and grandmother were.
It was certainly a day to remember.
The entire student body gave her a standing ovation.
And then the ticker-tape parade through town afterwards...
...and now it's your turn! Oh, Sabrina!
We're all going to be so proud.
- But, Uncle Quigley, what if-- Oh, my!
I better check to see if my old tux still fits.
Aunt Hilda, Aunt Zelda, where are you going?
To pick out outfits to wear to your award ceremony.
This is a history-making event.
We have to look elegant.
I think you should go with something like this.
Not bad! Now something dignified for you.
Oops! Maybe that's too dignified.
Oh. That does it.
-Truce. -Oh!
You can run but you can't hide!
What's the matter, pumpkin?
Afraid you're not going to be able to keep up the proud family tradition?
-How did you know? -Hey, I'm not an insensitive clod.
Believe it or not, I pay attention.
I care. I feel your pain.
And I thought if you were too upset to finish that liver, I might.
Remember to breathe.
Ah! That hits the spot.
It could be the answer to all your problems.
A little magic here, a little magic there, and, poof, you're student of the year.
No, Salem. If I'm going to win...
...I've got to do it fair and square, just like my mom did.
That's the spirit, Sabrina!
You don't need any magical help to win. You are your mother's daughter...
...a fine young woman, an intelligent girl.
You are smart, you are good, you are kind and decent...
...and come Friday, Sabrina, I assure you, you will be....
Student of the year!
I'm smart and I'm good and I'm going to win!
Uncle Quigley is right. I'm--
Oh, no! This means I'm going to lose for sure!
I'm getting a zit!
Sabrina, what's wrong? We heard you scream.
You thinking what I'm thinking, Hilda?
-What are you doing? -Isn't it obvious?
Peroxia, the queen of the reflection realm...
...is trying to invade our dimension again.
Only this time, she's picked the wrong bathroom mirror.
I thought we had an agreement. This house is a magic-free zone.
-Tell that to Peroxia. -Stand back, Quig.
This is war.
Huh?
No, it's not Peroxia, whoever she is. I have a zit!
-A pimple? -Where?
It's barely noticeable.
You really can't notice it, Aunt Hilda? Are you sure?
It's a teeny-tiny red thing. All you need is a little concealer.
A little concealer? No problem.
Yes, sirree, this is me thinking here.
I always put my hand on my chin when I do some heavy-duty thinking.
Un-huh. It helps me think even better.
Hi, Sabrina.
- Uh, Sabrina, I think you've got a-- excuse me.
-Wow! -Out of my way, everyone.
Glamorous and beautiful student-of-the-year material...
...coming through. Oh, it's a bother being so perfect...
...but my admiring public seems to enjoy it.
Strand of hair out of place.
Better.
Nice zit, Spellman.
I wouldn't want a picture of someone with a thing like that on her face...
...to hang on the wall of achievement forever. Gross!
That's not a zit. Like I started to tell you, Sabrina.
There was a dot of strawberry jam on your face.
Well, it could've been raspberry, but for sure, jam.
Zit or no zit, you're still gonna lose.
That whole proud-family-tradition thing, what a joke.
Like there was something special about those other Sabrinas.
They probably only won because they didn't have any real competition.
I mean, how hard was it to look good back then?
Everything was in black and white, for crying out loud.
That does it, Gem.
Nobody insults my family and gets away with it.
You're going to be so sorry.
I don't care what all the book reviews said.
This Guide to the Birds of North America is absolutely delicious reading!
Story hour's over, Salem. Time to get down to business.
My, aren't we feeling a little witchy?
Let's just take a time out on the smart remarks, okay?
I've decided you're right.
If Gem is going to try to use her family wealth to win student of the year...
...I don't see why I shouldn't use my family inheritance: magic.
Really? Do you mean it?
You're not just toying with me?
My mom was special...
...and so was my grandmother and my great-grandmother.
And now, if I don't win student of the year...
...Gem's going to use that as some kind of proof that they weren't.
And I'm not going to let that happen. Now show me the magic, Salem.
I have just the thing.
This entire box of brand-new spells was delivered this morning.
I got such a deal.
You would not believe the money you can save shopping online...
...on the witch-wide web. Now to find exactly the right spell.
Popularity, winner's charm...
...a stuff-the-ballot box incantation.
No. Something that will make Gem Stone sorry for the rest of her life...
...that she ever even thought about insulting my family.
Ooh, I just loves it when you gets catty.
Uh-uh! No peeking.
Make sure Gem's the one who looks in the mirror. Trust me.
-It won't be pretty. -I can't wait.
It's payback time, Gem.
Now, remember, Pi, vote for me for student of the year...
...and I'll eat lunch with you for an entire semester.
-And pay for it too. -Let me think about that.
Wait. I've got it.
How about you buy me the lunches but not actually eat them with me?
Yeah. Later.
Great outfit, Spellman.
I just never get tired of seeing you in it.
Thanks, Gem. What a sweet thing to say.
Hug, hug. Kiss, kiss.
Get away from me! You're gonna mess up my hair.
Nice mustache, Gem.
I'd hate to think of a picture...
...of someone with a thing like that on her face...
...hanging on the wall of achievement forever. Gross!
Um, uh....
Of course, what she doesn't realize...
...is that mustaches are the rage in Europe right now.
All the supermodels are wearing them.
my glamorous grip on the electorate is slipping.
Get in here now!
That's better.
Ooh. Great wax teeth, Gem...
...but aren't you a little early for Halloween?
Oh, no! I have buck teeth!
I'm a freak! Aah!
Aah! Oh!
Hey, Gem, maybe you can be stu-dental of the year!
Whoa!
Thank you. I look fine now. Right?
Whoa, Gem, I'd ease off on the groceries, if I were you.
What's happening to me?
I never felt so bad in my whole life.
It just hurts too much.
Gem, don't cry. It's okay. It's all over now.
You're fine. Oh, wow. I thought this would be so great...
...but it's awful. I'm sorry. Okay?
Really! Jeez, did I mess up.
Welcome, students...
...to the annual Greendale Middle School student-of-the-year award ceremony!
The students and the faculty have voted and the results are in.
And this year's recipient is a young lady who's made us all very proud...
...to have her as a member of our student body.
-Don't let us down, okay? -Promise?
Wow. This is heavy-duty stuff.
Faculty, parents, Greendale students...
...and all you people out there in TV land...
...I am proud to present this year's student of the year:
Sabrina Spellman!
And since this is such a special moment for you and your family, Sabrina...
...the school has arranged a very special surprise.
We have set up a special satellite hookup to your mother...
...at her archeological dig in Egypt!
Go ahead, dear. Take the phone.
Hello, Mommy?
Mommy? Hi.
Oh, man, is this touching.
I am so very proud of you.
Just as proud as Grandma and Great-Grandma would be...
...if they could see what a wonderful girl you've grown up to be.
Oh, how I wish I could be there to give you a hug right now.
I love you, Sabrina.
I love you too, Mom.
Thank you for giving me this award, but I can't accept it.
Can't accept it?
Being student of the year is about being the best you can be.
For the last few days, I haven't been the best I can be.
I've been somebody I'm ashamed of. I've been mean-spirited and selfish.
And I enjoyed making somebody else feel bad.
I also used unfair tactics just so I could win.
Now I'll never know if I really could have earned a place...
...on the wall of achievement or not. All because I tried to cheat.
I'm sorry and I apologize to my family and my friends...
...for doing the one thing I really didn't ever want to do:
to let them down.
I, uh....
I suppose, then, that this award goes to our runner-up Gem Stone!
I get it then! It's all mine!
I want to thank all the little people I had to step on, on my way to the top.
Ah, step on this.
Sabrina?
Go ahead. Say whatever you want. I deserve it.
I think there's something important that you need to hear first.
-It's a message crystal ball. -Press the red button.
You have one message.
Honey, what you did was wrong, and I'm so glad...
...that you owned up to it and set things right.
You're growing up to be a smart, responsible girl...
...and that makes me very proud.
You've learned an important lesson. Love you lots.
That goes double for your friends.
Of course, the fact that we still love and respect you...
...doesn't mean that you won't be grounded for a month for cheating with magic.
A whole month? Ugh!
Good. You found Sabrina.
-Hey! Is that what I think it is? -Uh, depends.
What do you think it is?
It's one of those new videophones, isn't it? Cool!
-Can I make a call? -Maybe next time.
Whew.
Heavy lies the burden of being the prettiest girl in school.
I mean, you have to watch what you eat...
...do your hair every day, use the right makeup.
Which reminds of this really cute story that happened to me in kindergarten.
And I thought the regular school assemblies were boring?
Freaks.